Maturity:Some Thoughts About Variety

I looked over my papers for errors, but all my commas were where I wanted them. Flipping the pages back and moving into the deep, dark interior of the old paper, I found my teacher's comments. "Use transitions-Could be more developed." she wrote. There was nothing about punctuation. I was puzzled. I know I make errors. I know that I have occasional trouble with tense and awkward sentences here and there. But there were nothing glaring at me. All was sterile and safe.

I thought: As a writer, what am I unhappy with about my work? Then I realized: I am bored. My sentences usually start with a subject and are followed by the verb. I don't ramble. My academic writing is plain: "When people change, they must trade old values for new values." Budum-ching. So exciting. My informal writing is worse: "Yesterday one of my professors had us do an exercise to get to know one another. We all drew questions and split into pairs to ask each other. It's a pretty familiar drill." The writing goes on like that with subject and verb tirelessly following one another over and over again. My writing gets the job done, but is childlike and sometimes boring. When I compare it to my peers' work, I feel like I'm at ball where everyone else is in ruffled satins while I'm in bluejean overalls.

How did my writing get this way? I love a simple piece of writing. I like the poetic pauses of short sentences. My writing is clear and functional and a good model for the seventh graders that I dream of teaching. If they can all write simple, relevant sentences, I will be happy. Also, I think I've been influenced by journalism and the journalistic style of writing that is present in our society. I love modern writers who create fresh uncluttered art, and am frustrated by Edgar Allen Poe's gross overuse of dashes. However, I think I've overdone the simplicity. While I will probably always write more simply than most of my peers, hopefully I can do that in a way that is mature and well-developed.

Alright then. How do I make my writing more mature? I probably could start by using grown-up punctuation, such as colons, semicolons, dashes, and parenthesis. I freely admit that I think I understand semicolons, but I am so unsure of the others that I never add them to academic writing. I believe that they would help embellish my writing, giving it some of the vim that I'm looking for. That's step one.

Acording to owl.english.purdue.edu in order to achieve sentence variety, one should have different lengths of sentences and vary the sentence beginnings ("Sentence Variety"). Sadly, this means that some of my beloved short sentences need to be combined and that I should find some new phrases to use at the beginning of my sentences. That is step two.

Lastly, I would like to see a little more description in my writing. Perhaps putting a few details here and there wouldn't kill me. I think I can manage a simile or two. Since sometimes the details are the best parts, it's a shame for me to leave them out. That's step three-more details and description. My problem is lack of variety in my sentences. My solution is three strategies: experiment with different punctuation; change sentence lengths and beginnings; and add description. Let's see how it works.


Works Cited

Purdue OWL, "Sentence Variety." The Owl at Purdue. 27 MAR 2008. Purdue University.Sep 2008 .